Huntsville Golf Club
Played Huntsville in 2015 with my high school buddy Mike. It’s a private course located in the Poconos that flies under the radar but is always ranked among the PA Best-in-State courses (sitting at number 10 in the current 2019 Golf Digest rankings). The course sits within a huge, sprawling and rolling property, partially meadow and partially wooded. There’s not a lot of water on the course (from what I remember) but I remember it being tough. I’m guessing we played from the Member tees (6,127 yards) but even there it’s a 131 slope and that slope from that kind of yardage without a ton of water tells you this is not a walk in the park. My Target Score here is an 89 and I only had three pars and shot a 92 so was within shouting distance but meh.
Target Score is another way to look at course handicap to determine what would be a good score for you at a particular course. Considering you only shoot your handicap about 20% of the time, that should be your target. To calculate it you can generally just add your course handicap to course par or take your index (mine right now is 15.6) times the slope of the tees from which you’re playing (131 here). Divide that by 113 or the average slope and add that to the tee rating (71.1). Voila an 89 here would’ve been a good score for me. So this is the long way to say I shot a very middling 92. Of course, just get to scratch and you can save yourself all of the Math Olympics.
So the Poconos, if you’re not familiar, is chez tack. It was once considered the honeymoon capitol of the world. What a shitty honeymoon that would be! Tacky champagne tubs. Heart shaped beds. You can actually see the STDs crawling around on the sheets. They slapped Micky Rooney’s face on everything up here. Micky Rooney was passe’ 50 years ago yet I think his goofy mook is still on the side of a hotel up here. Take a look below. Vintage postcards you ask? Nah it’s the Poconos those are probably still on the postcard racks in the tacky resort souvenir shops.
If you want to travel back in time, then plan a trip to the 40’s and 50’s by visiting the Poconos today – you won’t need a DeLorean. Of course the Poconos is home to Wilkes-Barre and Scranton – the latter is home to The Office. Hands down this was the best show on television.
The last episode aired in 2013 so as of the writing of this review, the Office ended eight years ago though the first episode is still timely today. A lot of fans think The Office jumped the shark as soon as they introduced Nellie and Robert California. While I didn’t mind Robert California, I agree Nellie almost single-handedly ruined the show. However unlike shows like Happy Days and M*A*S*H* that jumped the shark and went steadily downhill from there, The Office rebounded by sending Robert California away to hang with young Russian gymnasts in Ukraine or something and subordinated Nellie to the annex. Andy as the manager was great and they did a great job wrapping everything up in a neat little bow as they steadily progressed to the final episodes. I never watched this on its initial airing but when someone sent me the CPR episode I nearly died and went back and Covided the entire series (Coviding was the binge watching of any series during the “two-week” COVID lockdown in 2020). I present it to you here…
I digress though, so to the course. From the first, you move immediately into the wooded section of the course. Even though you’re surrounded by woods, I don’t remember this being as claustrophobic as other courses up here – Jack Frost instantly comes to mind. There are nice elevation changes and a great variety of golf holes. Nine sticks out to me – I remember it being a long, long, long par five and I parred. So I got that going for me. Eleven is probably the most memorable hole on the course – a split fairway 404-yard par four (from the Middle tees). The high road here is the safer route but if you can drive accurately, the low road will give you a shorter approach. It’s a classic risk-reward hole. The back felt easier than the front but then again maybe I was on the proper number of Miller Lites.
If you’re planning a golf trip and thinking of the Poconos, WTF? Don’t. But if you’re into the “I like 50’s vintage porn” thing then here are my thoughts. Stayed at Shawnee for a retreat. Don’t. Stayed at Split Rock up here. No again. Let’s cut to the chase, get a fucking Vrbo cabin. Public golf for the most part blows. My cousin likes Jack Frost, not sure if it’s because I played like shit or that it was mid-COVID April when I played it, but I no likey at all. Split Rock sucked. Never played Shawnee. The publics here are pathetic – Sand Springs, Sugarloaf (where Waze actually took me onto a fucking rocky walking trail to get to) are just two bad courses I’ve played. If you have a good pro willing to make some calls though you can cobble together a few great courses. Huntsville. My buddy belongs to Wyoming Valley that is not bad. Glenmaura is supposed to be the crown jewel up here but never played. Hope to play Scranton this year and hear this is a great classic course. A little further south you have Lehigh Valley and Saucon Valley. Played the Grace and Old courses on the latter which are both in my next up courses. I can’t give you a lot of advice on good eats up here. My buddy from Wilkes-Barre says there are some nice restaurants in the heart of town where they’re trying to gentrify the neighborhood. There’s a place in Nanticoke where my buddy took us called Larry’s and we have a golf outing up here every year and go to Kings in Mountain Top which has a great outdoor bar. These are not fine dining establishments mind you but good pizza and Miller Lites aplenty.
Golf Scrapbook 