Pine Valley
Pine Valley is consistently ranked as the number one golf course in the world. Luckily I have had the opportunity to play here a half dozen or so times. So why number one? This is where the architecture golf nerds take over. It has everything a golf nerd wants in a design. It’s super penal. It’s got redans and capes and every other design type hole. The soil is sandy – perfect for golf. There’s no rough to speak of just fairway, greens and Jersey Pine Barren scrub.
It’s super exclusive and remote even though it is smack in the heart of Clementon, NJ – just a few miles from downtown Philly. All of that makes it great, but generally it is the experience that makes it number one: the fact you can’t see one hole from the next and that every hole is different, kind of a world in and of itself. The down-to-earth clubhouse and a stay in the cabins make the trip complete.
So our buddy Billy was a member here and would take my various golf-playing family members out every year for dinner in the clubhouse and Eagles Monday night football in the cabins. Of course, the Pièce de résistance was a round on Tuesday morning. Billy passed a few years ago and his ashes were sprinkled on the fourth hole. Billy was a hoot – a huge deadhead. I had the joy of sharing a room during one of our other golf trips with him once and discovered he had what we called, sleep tourettes. He would Mother F*** everything and everyone while sound asleep.
But I digress. If you get to go to PV, start with the cabins. There’s some blog I was reading where the guy ranks the best golf showers. Well, the showers in the cabins with their pie-plate-sized shower heads have to rank among the best I’ve ever been lucky to cleanse myself within. The clubhouse is super low key. Snapper soup is awesome. There are lit practice greens behind the cabins for late night putting contests. All make for a nice warm up to the round.
The course itself is a ball buster. The fourth (where Billy’s ashes reside) is a 250-yard, uphill par three and like a driver, wedge for me. You got the devil’s arsehole on one hole and hell’s half acre on another. You know you’re in for a tough round when the hazards have their own nicknames. It’s certainly not a walk in the park. If Pebble Beach plays like a novel, Pine Valley plays like a Metallica song. However, PV is Mecca to the golfing world and a must play for any bucket list.
The caddies here are awesome, too. Billy’s favorite (I forget his name) looked like Fluff from the tour. He actually read a eulogy at Billy’s funeral. So my first time there, my brother tells him I love poetry knowing “Fluff” fancies himself a poet. Well, the entire round he’s reading me poetry he wrote about PV. I don’t like poetry.
Watch out your first time there. On the 15th tee, the caddies will point you toward the 16th green and tell you it’s another par three with a 250-yard pond you have to clear. Screw them, I cleared the pond and got to pick up my ball on the 16th green. If you go, stop at Harper’s Pub after your round. The caddies hang there after their loops and it’s a super laid back neighborhood pub.
I don’t have a lot of pictures, I was never sure of the rules. I’m not sure if the sunset one is mine. Here are a few.
Golf Scrapbook 